Condor & Jaybird, Mouton, Gigantic, Kudzu

Condor & Jaybird




Monday, March 27, 2017

Doors: 9:00 pm / Show: 9:00 pm

The Outland


This event is all ages

Condor & Jaybird
Condor & Jaybird is a 4-peice Psychedlic Pop/Rock band from the banks of the Mississippi River. Connor and Jeramie started making music together in 2013. Jake and Bryson joined shortly after. The four of them started out trying to make dark and genre-less music. Now they just want to make music. You can see their passion for creating and performing when you watch them live. From big crowds to small, you can tell Condor & Jaybird express their love for every person through their performance. You can see it on their faces and hear it in their music. Every time you see Condor & Jaybird live, you will fall in love with them more and more
The year was 2023. Spider, Conky, and I (Atticus) were playing Tekken 12 in a crack house together in future New Springfield when Conky pipes up, "We should go back in time and see what the first 8 Tekken games were like." You see, in the future there are no known copies of Tekken 1-8. Tis a dark, dark future.

"Nah", says Spider, "That seems like a waste of time travel. We should go back in time and stop the Antichrist Obama from winning his third term and ushering in a thousand years of darkness." In the future, Obama is widely considered responsible for the disappearance of Tekken 1-8.

"No", I say, "We should go back in time and prevent ourselves from getting addicted to crack."

Now, you're probably thinking between now and 2023 Gigantic made it to the big times, hence the crack. But in all actuality, Gigantic didn't exist yet in the future, yet. Well actually they did, but not yet, yet. It's hard to explain. We just loved crack.

Anyway, time machines don't exist in 2023. We were all just on crack, talking crack nonsense. However, crack is a powerful substance that can allow your brain to do powerful things. So we invented a time machine made out of crack that's also fueled by crack. Crack is pretty much all we have in 2023.

So we go back in time to 2012 (where our past selves are actually 11-13 years old) to try to warn ourselves about crack. After watching ourselves walk to and from elementary school for a few days, we decided it was time to approach past us, but when we did all hell broke loose. When explaining the severity of our crack addiction, I got caught up in the heat of the moment and grabbed past Spider's arm. He tried to pull away and when he actually broke free, he fell, cracked his head on the ground, and died. Naturally, we felt we must leave no witnesses, so we brutally murdered past Conky and past Atticus as well.

Time-machine-lagged and exhausted from killing ourselves, we decided, without thinking, that it would be a good idea to smoke our crack crafted time machine. Stuck in the past with no time machine or crack, we needed to make money fast. That's when we formulated the best idea our crack eroded minds had ever thunked.

In the year 2023, there is a band called GIGANTIC (not us) that is regarded by most as the greatest, richest band to have ever graced the earth.

"You know, we all know most of Gigantic's songs", says Spider. "We could start a cover band."

"But Gigantic doesn't even exist yet."

"I know. That's why we'll steal all of their songs and claim we wrote them. So called artists have been doing that since 2006. And since the songs that we're blatantly ripping off haven't even been written yet, nobody will ever know! It's perfect!"

And like that Gigantic was born for the first time... again. And if history plays out like it did before we came to past, we'll be famous musician millionaires in a few years time and all of you can suck our crack encrusted balls. We are Gigantic.
Venue Information:
The Outland
326 South Ave
Springfield, MO, 65806